Being self-employed is tricky business. I simultaneously run a business and balance wife/mother/friend/volunteer duties. Drawing that fine line between my personal and professional lives has never come naturally to me.
In fact, it has been a constant struggle throughout my career. I'm incredibly driven, and love what I do, which is fantastic until it comes time to also be a wife, mother, and friend. I've never been good at knowing where or how to draw that damn line. The truth is, I love what I do, and the amazing folks I get to work with and if I don't produce, I don't get paid. I could easily work more than is healthy, which is not great for my personal life. So, I look for balance daily.
But, my son is 14 and there aren't many summers left that we'll have time together. We're already starting to talk about what type of job he wants next summer, which means I'll see less and less of him. And so, my need to draw that line is becoming increasingly apparent.
I did something epically heroic earlier this week, at least by my standards. I had been asked to join a project for a company in the Puget Sound area that would have been wildly interesting, directly in my wheelhouse, and lucrative. But, it would have consumed a large portion of my summer. Man, did I ever struggle over this decision. I lost sleep. I made pro/con lists. I looked for every way possible to make it work, and at the end of the day, I realized that when added to my current workload, working like a madwoman straight through the summer was just not worth it. At least not this year.
Not easy. In fact, I've practically had to sit on my hands to stop myself from calling them back to tell them I'll do it. But I know this is the right decision- at least for this year.
Balance will be my eternal struggle. But, it is rewarding to know that this one small decision is a step in the right direction.